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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Before I die I`m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as “grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube.”
To all those that now have a DUI, domestic violence charge or one less finger... Happy 5th of July
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
She heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100 problems.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.