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I`m getting all dressed up. Have a feeling I might be on COPS tonight.
You can`t find happiness at the bottom of a beer ... Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out.
The wrong time to have a seizure is probably during a Harlem Shake Video.
All the coffee beans in South America can`t make me a morning person.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
Like a stoned man once said, I can`t remember.
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was big white bear with no sexual preference.