Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja`s.
I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don`t tell them you need it by a certain date.
When someone says “you’re the best,” just know that it’s not really true because I’m the best.
Call me lazy, but if it takes two clicks I’m not reading it.
You`ve got to be twins. You`re too stupid to be one person.
If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you’re just like… nah
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.