Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
It’s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
"I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
Do you really have to breath that much?
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
"You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.