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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
Hey you know what will go good with all that beer you just drank? Social media and a camera phone!
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
Feeling pretty good about myself today so I`m going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!"
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
I just made an emergency survival kit. You know, for emergencies. It looks like all my other kits, but don`t be fooled; this one is red and has more liquor.
Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.