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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
I`m going to start looking for the good in all people I meet this year. Except for the a$$holes.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
The wet spot in my bed is tears
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
University; It`s like being unemployed, but your parents are proud of you.
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
Man, just think how crazy Gollum goes on the 5th day of Christmas.
If I ever get off this couch, I’ll be unstoppable.
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"