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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
I`m about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.