Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stop everything you’re doing. Think about me. You’re welcome.
I don`t need glasses ... I drink straight from the bottle.
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
I`ve been married to my wife 10 years today. Having sex with just one person in 10 years is pure dedication. I don`t know how she does it.
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
Some of you take selfies from so close up, I`m beginning to wonder if you`re a T-Rex.
If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They`ll thank you later.
Hello...
just keep scrolling nothing to see hear
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
Why do grown ups pay to go to gyms to exercise on expensive equipment? Can`t we meet at a park after work and play tag until dark?
I will pay good money to anyone who can take me from work, make it look like an abduction and tuck me back into bed.
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.