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I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Facebook would be much more interesting if they let you decide, which part of the body you wanna Poke.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
I really want to see you tonight. So could you please leave the blinds up and the curtains open?
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.