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What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? There was a DUMBASS who didn`t take it out in time.
What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch