Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
when i die i want to be thrown out of an airplane with a superman costume