Daily Silly Status

While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.

The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?

Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.

I just called the Alcohol Hotline and those bastards don`t even deliver.

How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.

I really want to take photos of my friends with their face smushed against glass.. Then make that pic my phone contact for them.. Then when they call, it will look like they`re trapped inside my phone! Oh god my life is pitiful, kill me..

I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.

I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at

How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?

I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.

Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.

I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."

To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.

hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!

Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime