Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Finally figured out what women want...SECURITY!!!......(At least that`s what they all yell when I try to talk to them...)
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
My friends and I played fantasy football in high-school. No league, we just constantly thought about the cheerleaders.
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
Carfax but for people
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.