Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
With the promise of Free Drinks or Food, I’m willing to go pretty much anywhere.
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
People who drive under the speed limit are probably the same people who drink decaf.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful spiders can’t fly.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
There is no angry way to say `bubbles.`
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
There is only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water lying about being milk.