Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A sure fire way to lose an afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don`t want to get up there and there`s no coffee.
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."