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Steve Jobs is now working with God to make iWife... Beauty with brains and Mute button
I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
I wonder if angry people know about naps?
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
You are wasting your time reading this status.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will describe me as "quiet"
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.