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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
Don’t waste electricity. How would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
Sometimes you just have to logout...
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."