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There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
“You look tired” is just a polite way to tell someone they look like sh*t.