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It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
Im going to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people`s cars saying "sorry for the damage." Then watching the magic.
If you want your team to win a sporting event just tell me. I will root for the other team. That will guarantee a win for your team.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
I flunked anger management class.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
My therapist keeps saying that I should really stop talking to inanimate objects.....but he`s a lamp...what does he know....
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....