Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My daughter just explained to me that these dinner postings were not real invites. I have to apologize to all my friends out there for showing up last week.
My neighbors got so weird when I asked how many bodies they thought were buried in their yard. I meant roughly, not like an exact number.
I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because she says I was obsessed with football. I was shocked. I mean we were together for 3 1/2 seasons.
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.