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Haters are my motivators(:
When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
Damn it. I missed the number of the day on Sesame Street and now I don`t know how many pills to take.
something about today makes me want to be hungover tomorrow
I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
Well, it`s about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I make a great second impression.
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!