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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
That moment when you’re talking to yourself and you smile like an idiot, because you’re just so hilarious.
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
Bacon...need I say more
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
I usually spend my Mondays texting apologies but I`ve had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do.