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Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
My sleep number is 151 ... Bacardi 151
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
Never date someone that works for your cell phone provider. Just sayin
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm