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Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
I`m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You`re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what`s going on here.
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
It`s like my golf instructor thinks I`m mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club.
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
I bet everyone in Gotham prisons really hates the guy that killed Bruce Wayne`s parents.
If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, there is no question. I would want them to be alive.
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I`m a great husband
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
When you think about how big the Earth is, then how small it is compared to the Sun, and how the Sun is just a speck of dust in the universe, it`s easy to justify eating an entire chocolate cake.
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.