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I`ve spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen