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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”
Shoutout to my parents for not wearing a condom and creating the most awesome person alive.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach? It`s not hard.
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!