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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
The party`s not over `till you smile for the mugshot
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
It`s awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.