Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking. One cleaning.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
I’m going to start responding to videos people post of their babies on Facebook with videos of me getting nine hours of sleep.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night… So I said I had a headache.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!