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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
I`ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
Whoever said “There is nothing as precious as a child’s laughter” obviously never fell down a flight of stairs in front of his kids.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.