Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
The worst time to need sneeze is when you’re driving. The worst time to need to pee is when you’re driving and need to sneeze.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
Apparently, walking up behind a hot guy in the produce aisle with celery in my hand and whispering "I`m stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
I got so drunk last night I tried picking up every woman in the bar and now my back is killing me!
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.