Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
Kids are like debit cards. I get yelled at when I accidentally leave them at the store.
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.