Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Perhaps your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
He died doing what he loved: telling me I`m overreacting.
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.