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I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
Its real cute how pedestrians confuse “right of way” with immortality.
I`ve been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
It`s been rough today, right now I`m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 thumbs up we`ll try anal. So please don`t vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.