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Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
Married sext: I`m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
I like to think I`m special, because the thought of idiots like me existing in large numbers is f*cking terrifying.
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!