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Spent the morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
Have you ever been so hungry you accidentally called someone sandwich?
After much thought and careful consideration, I`ve decided not to do a damn thing today.
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn`t much, but the reception was excellent.
I`ve started to make a fresh start in 2015, so if I owe you money, too bad.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.