Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
My bed has no frame and sits directly on the floor because under-bed monsters are just one less thing I have to worry about now.
If you tell someone your Birthday and they automatically know your astrological sign, run as fast as you can away from them.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
Money can`t buy you happiness, but it does give you the ability to rent it until you die.
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like "I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn`t."
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
If you`re in a hole, stop digging...
Was that lightning? ... No, they`re taking pictures for Google Earth.
If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.