Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sorry did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
I`m so deep in the friendzone that I`ve met her boyfriends parents
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
Fitness? More like, fitness whole pizza in my mouth.