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I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
Women have all the answers, to all of your questions, and you don`t even have to ask.
"Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I`m doing nothing right now... it`s totally possible.
This beer tastes like I’m going to text you later.
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.