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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
I hate sharing popcorn with someone at the cinema and our fingers touch. Especially if I don`t know them, and they don`t know we`re sharing.
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
First comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes not making any decisions and feeling guilty about asking for blowjobs.
Bacon...need I say more
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
The only benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don`t have to do laundry for another week or two.
Skinny people are bitches. Probably because they`re hungry.