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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it`s in.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
What`s the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I`m that.