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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
Give a kid a Pop Tart and they eat for a day. Teach a kid how to make a Pop Tart and you sleep in all summer
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
"Wow! That butterfly`s gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
I am not lazy, I`m on power saving mode
It’s sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his crappy ACME gadgets, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.