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I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee ....Coincidence? I think not.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
If you aren`t sure if you like someone, here`s a test: imagine they`re dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over