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I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
Facebook. Where people can express thoughts that otherwise might get them fired, divorced, thrown in a loony bin or all three.
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
TEIAM - problem solved
is spending my children´s inheritance.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
Yes Officer, I carry a knife, but that`s just in case I find a cake.
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
Orgasms are alot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don`t really care if you don`t have any pizza.