Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The human soul weights 1.2 lbs. I know this because I weighed myself before and after I got to work.
Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
I`m not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
I never think twice about helping others.In fact, I never think once about it.