Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
If I pat you on the back, there`s a 99% chance that I`m only using you as a napkin
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
My dad`s TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.