Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Ideal roommate: Someone not smart enough to know they are paying 80% of the rent.
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
My brain is giving me the silent treatment
Every time a clerk asks "Did you find everything you need?" I always answer "No, I couldn`t find a hug"
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar