Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with `Go away.`
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Searching Netflix is almost more of an activity than watching a movie on Netflix.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!
Make BIG mistakes in life. Those people are remembered forever. On Youtube.
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.