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I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more North.
My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked...
The only difference between doggy style and reverse cowgirl is who wants to watch the TV more.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
How about this for lazy: I`m letting the NSA take all my selfies for me.