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Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
Coffee`s a great way to fool yourself into believing you`re going to have a productive day.
If Wyle E Coyote had enough cash to buy all that ACME stuff why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
hearing that Jesus loves you is very nice unless you`re in a Mexican prison
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed and it was....GREAT!
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.