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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it’s just a cake?
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
It`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes on Facebook.
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.