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Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I`m fine.
I was planning to do something today, but I havenβt finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
If money can`t buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.