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One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
I fart because it`s the only gas I can afford.
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
You lost your phone and it`s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should`ve put a ring on it.
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
I had lunch with a chess player yesterday. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.