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Fighting is bad. Breaking up a fight between a douchebag and the bar owner is good. Thank God I`m a ninja.
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you`re able to "fall asleep right now."
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!