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We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
French people give me the crepes.
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
I passed a homeless guy who asked "Any change!?" I said "Nope, your still dirty and homeless". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes!
If you have to tell us that you`ve been going to the gym, you probably need to go more often....